Status Updates From What a Time to Be Alive

He breathes deeply. "You're not skinless." He touches my wrist. "You're just sensitive. It's fine. I can get that way too sometimes."

But I think, it's different, him sometimes getting overwhelmed by the world and my ceaseless watchfulness, my flinching at sounds, expecting violence. It's not the same.

She actually sneers. "If that's the type of people you want to be with, by all means go ahead. You do know what it says about you right?" She stares at me and I don't want to say any more so I reduce my facial expression to blank. She turns around and walks out of the room.

Whatever anger I felt is now fully extinguished by the raw unsorted emotions Hanna just heaved onto the parquet. I feel beaten up.

Hanna is in deep conference with Noor and I look away when I see Noor hand her a pill. I want to stay out of it because I have no information on good pill manners and I don't think I want to decline a pill and I definitely know I don't want to accept one.

Remarks and comments that stand out I write down verbatim on the left-hand page. ... This takes a little while and is mentally demanding. It is my favourite mode of meditation. Also it sharpens my ability to read interactions and understand subtext, the real meaning under all those niceties, and how to deploy this polite vagueness myself. Even though it makes my bag heavy, I bring a notebook most places.

He gets like this, mock-pompous, whenever there are strong emotions around. Although the pompousness is put on, I have come to recognise its backhanded authenticity since it only surfaces to mask real, overwhelming feelings. Or maybe he doesn't experience large emotions and this is just his approximation of human behavior. But I prefer the first alternative.

Soon we were discussing crypto because somehow all lectures still led to crypto and Konrad talked about the psychological intricacies of establishing a digital currency which the owner believed to have value but which the intended adopter often viewed with skepticism or reluctance. Without raising her hand Hanna said, "So basically like dick pics."