Status Updates From Cold Sweat

"I'm a man that happens to be a glass pitcher of liquid, not blind. You're gorgeous."
Now that's a pickup line I never thought I'd hear in my lifetime

This is what happens when I'm bored

".... Gonna fill you up to the top…my good little cup…”

🤣🤣🤣 I snorted so hard 🤣🤣🤣
Damn this book is crazy 🤣🤣🤣

🙈🙉🙊

lmfao omg

wtf

This is my first audiobook 😂 WHAT AM I READING 😭

“A giant, sentient glass pitcher of cherry Chill-Assist punch, Red was the result of Dan’s torrid affair with a pallet of the drink powder at a drunken office Christmas party many years ago.”

Yep. This is my life now.

So please nobody ask… katelyn requested it and I will always deliver

Little cup JAJAJAJAJA

NOT THE “OH YEAH” 💀

Ew why is the sentient Kool Aid stepbrother so creepy