Status Updates From Isaac (Light & Shadow #1)

I'm doing my best to tolerate the melodramatic tone and excessive wordiness, both of which I have a high tolerance for, but I don't know if I can do this. It feels like something I wrote when I was 13, knowing nothing about organized crime and assuming that everyone is dealing with the same hormones that I was.. Please senpai, no more adverbs! You're hurting me 😭

Why does the character keep shifting from 1st person POV to third person? It was all "I did this I did that" and all of a sudden, he's talking about himself in third person like "Dallas Bradley didn't see him but he recognized his voice" bitch just say I!!

Esto no estaba en los tw

Having just DNF'd a Mafia book for the shitty quality of writing, I'm not even done with the prologue and am already not impressed with this one, either. Here's hoping this new-to-me author will surprise me by sucking me into a fun story despite the clunky, amateur writing style!