Status Updates From Someone Like You (Inevitabl...

"Unless you cheat on me or start murdering cats in your spare time, you’re
not getting rid of me.”

Cats is a deal breaker 🤧

"I was so, so sure that just because I had asked Ethan to stop that he would. I was so sure.”
Oh....OH...

Ah, the classic help them to shower (which btw romantic) and then washing their hair......which as a black woman....idk about that 😭😭 I LOVE THAT FOR YOU THO but don't be touching my hair like that😬(me ranting knowing damn well ain't nobody tryna wash my hair for me🧍I might just be salty 😪)

"I hadn’t even touched Brody yet, and here this motherfucker was, tugging at the sleeve of his coat, rubbing his hand up his arm. I wanted to chop his fingers off one by one. I wanted to bite a hole through his wrist and kick him in the dick. How fucking dare he!"
Might wanna take that up in therapy bae, that's violent (I support to get yo man!!)

I was not bringing Brody fucking flowers.

With the stupid potted cactus clutched in my hands....

LMFAOOO

He was the only thing I wanted to look at ever again.

Baby we're the new romantics 🤭

“What is this, a rom-com? Do you think that after countless hours of forced proximity I’ll come to realize that my anger was really just covering
up my burgeoning desire for you? Will we ride off into the sunset at the end, hand in hand?”
Not too much on my rom-com 😒

Gawd damn u just keep hurting the guy 😭😭

jesus this is off to a heavy start lol