Status Updates From The Palace of Eros: A Novel

If you’re unaware of the myth between Eros and Daphne, basically:

Apollo and Eros are feuding about archery. Feeling slighted, Eros shoots Apollo so he falls for Daphne, but Eros shoots Daphne so she doesn’t reciprocate. Apollo is a hungry nasty stalker to the point where Daphne turns herself into a laurel tree bc there’s no other way. Apollo goes “wah wah” and makes the laurel tree his default symbol