Status Updates From A Song to Drown Rivers

This is insane

I'm no longer upset for his death because she followed right after

Wait did she actually die

I might dnf here because nothing else matters anymore and the only thing that kept me going is gone.

Someone came to prize Fuchai’s body away from me. They told me later that I was weeping, pressing my palms to his chest as if I could stanch the bleeding, as if I could undo the fatal wound.

I'm weeping too

He shook his head as he stared at me, just stared and stared. He looked completely speechless, clutching at some wound that no one else could see. No one but me. I watched how every memory we’d ever shared was recast in a different light; every soft word spoken, every tender touch, every quiet promise. He was trembling.
“Since when?”
“Since the very beginning.” I let the answer sink in

This is physically hurting me.

at about the 25% mark, this swings from an adventure, character based tale to a YA mess. And the question is raised with some ferocity: why would someone being trained in the art of seduction and feminine wiles look to a 22 year old dude for wisdom? And who would not equally equip her in the manipulation of getting OUT of situation she courted?