Status Updates From Ruthless Creatures (Queens ...

“kage?”
“yes, baby?”
I AM DEAD OH MY I LOVE THIS MAN

“there’s no need to be nervous around me. i’m the least unpredictable man you’ve ever met. what i want from you won’t change if you say the wrong thing. it won’t change if you gain weight or cut your hair or decide to go vegan. it won’t change even if you say you never want to see me again and we go our separate ways.” hello kage i love you

“yesterday it seemed like you hated me. i’m still not sure you don’t.”
“yesterday you weren’t under my protection. now you are.” 😩😩😩

“he’s not my type.”
“babe, that man is every woman’s type. don’t try lie to me and tell me you can’t hear your ovaries moaning.” 😭😭😭😭

“the one who dresses like she’s amish?”
“she’s not amish. she’s a schoolteacher.”
“does she teach butter churning and buggy maintenance?” i am howling😭

This is sounding too wattpadish for me