Status Updates From The Boyfriend Academy

These tasks are lowkey traumatizing and Dylan’s gonna get caught exploding on people but also like he needs to holy hell

THEY KISSED AHHHH

“I’ll do anything for you,” Roman replied. It halts me. “I mean it. What are we going to do?”
I fight back tears, composing myself with a deep breath.

With shaking hands, I touch him, and he pulls me closer, hugs me tighter, and his hand brushes the neck of my neck, making me shiver. My eyes flutter closed as I rest my head against his neck, and this is what I want. What I need. He is the ultimate hunger, and yet loving him would destroy my changes at survival.

But just like when I think about it too much, and when I consider the art I like, and when I catch myself daydreaming about a life with another man, the guilt comes rushing. The rot from my core spreads out like wild mint, taking over, destroying every part of my ecosystem that could bloom into something beautiful. Built threatens my very existence.

this is so so so good

Sunlight filters through, the outside world trying to claw us out, back into a place where I have to hide this part of myself. The part where I enjoy lying with him, having his arm over me.

He doesn’t look away, and I can’t pull away. Drawn to him and his magnetic look, his touch. I’ve never felt this before. This mouth-watering ache, this pang of hunger, a need to taste something new. Roman is a delicacy unexplored. One bite and I know I wouldn’t stop. Couldn’t stop.

A night with Ran in that tree stump sounds like heaven on earth.

“I’m nervous about this. All of this.”
Roman angles himself so his knee touches mine. I let my hand rest on the bench, hidden between us.
“You should be,” he mutters. “We all should be.”

I am eating this shit up. Roman basically knows Dylan is gay like you can tell and Roman has all these questions about society and he doesn’t even want to be at the school or follow anything but he said he won’t ruin Dylan’s chances at graduating I just ugh

Why are they doing this to us? Why is the place I call home feeling inhospitable?

Their second task is honesty and they’re basically in a room together hooked up on lie detectors that shock you and I think the bigger the lie the bigger the shock

Thoughts of Roman are like wildfire win my head, and the flames are spreading, but so far, I can contain them. They must not get out of control. They must not damage me.
He must not damage me.

Which is why someone like me, someone who craves the touch of a man, has to keep that part of himself hidden. A constant battle between what is right and what is right for me. If they ever knew, I’d find myself in the open country. Find myself in jail. Find myself dead. Society, in that sense, has gone way back in time.

There’s a part of me that hopes she might fail, so that I can graduate and have an excuse not to marry a woman.
What a disappointing man I will be.

Having feelings I thought were buried is uncomfortable, but feeling something for the same sex is a danger in itself.

“Dylan,” he said to me, lit by lamplight. “You’ll wait for me, won’t you
I didn’t answer.
I wish I had.

So the first page and I’m already gagged by the writing okay!