Status Updates From Hold Your Breath (Masked Men)

«I want her to know how fucking beautiful she is, inside and out. Someone like her deserves the world, and I would do my fucking best to give it to her if I had half a chance.»

«It would cause a massive controversy if I fucked my stepsister» I bet🤓

So this isn’t like a masterpiece or anything, but it’s made me laugh out loud multiple times so

Awwwww

Me: *comfortable in my solid asexuality*

Someone with a damn good point though: “Do you think you’d still be ace if anime/book men were real?”

I want more of Micah’s pov

“yet here I am now, naked and being fucked in the ass like I’m some damn porn star.”


Oh honey… I fear anal is very basic beginner vanilla stuff…

I feel like this author is TRYING to be body positivity but it’s kinda coming across as a bit fatphobic instead

“My hair is also a mess, and I look like a racoon.”


Yes but a very cute raccoon. Make all the boy raccoons go CHIRP / ref

“only stopping when he grabs my pussy, a literal handful, and I want to die. I don’t have a cute little Hello Kitty; I have a Garfield.”

I AUDIBLY CACKLED 😭💀

“A hand lands on one of my thighs, and I flinch—they’re a problem area for me. They wobble and rub together and are not my most flattering parts of my body.”


I beg to differ

Jaye Pratt’s favorite color just has to be green I’m sure (all the fmcs in this series’ fave colors are different shades of green)

So far definitely my second favorite in the series (I still think I liked the first best so far)

I can’t fucking WAIT for his pov omg “he hates her” yeah ok just wait bc he is DEF gonna be thinking about walking in on you like THIS later 👀

“Every girl wants to feel hot, and yet no matter how hard I try, I still look like a school librarian.”


Ah yes, notably the career with the ugliest employees. Not like, one of the top porn categories or anything…