Status Updates From A Fling Gone Wrong: A Grump...

Turns out our fling didn't go so wrong after all, did it?

No. It went perfectly right.

JFK had been its own beast, but Heathrow hit harder. Louder. Faster.

Sharon send up silent thank-you to John Robbins for insisting on first-class upgrade. extra space - and distance from chaos @ back of plane - had been blessing. Her nerves were already threadbare, elbow-to-elbow seating might have finished her completely.

As they taxied to gate, familiar chorus of chiming phones filled cabin.

That was paradox of Sharon: elegant one moment. completely unfiltered the next. mouth like sailor in Chanel wrapper - and G0d help him, he was addicted.

Hey, Murphy. How's it hangin'?

To left & always low to ground, man.

He'd recreated sharp cheddar recipe he'd learned from Cyrus, adding bold American twist w/bacon, chives, & mix of savory Midwest spices. It wasn't fully aged, but even young, flavor was complex & rich - beautiful start.

Griffin said, steering her toward quaint little shop w/hand-painted sign that read Superior Sweets. "You have to try their fudge. They make it fresh in back - best I've ever had."

curving so tightly around lake that it felt like they were riding thru it

She was used to crowds - London practically ran on chaos. But even this felt big & overwhelming. It was American in every way, as if entire population of Northern WI decided to shop here today.

Griffin had warned her to keep her mouth shut during ride. There was no protection from swarms of gnats & other mystery bugs that hit like gravel in wind.

Just eat it already.

That's what she said.

In UK, beer usually served bit warmer than American beer. And while British brews had their charm, they couldn't hold candle to Wisconsin beer in his opinion. This stuff was art. Long Lake Brewery especially - they'd been churning out award-winning batches for over two decades.

That baby's born cheesehead. It's in blood.

Griffin! What thing to say! This baby's going to be gorgeous & you know it.

What he means is baby's going to be proper Wisconsinite - so yeah, cheese cravings are genetic.

Griffin brought bike to stop in front of picture-perfect log cabin. Same as before, it was like whiskey ad come to life, all polished wood & low golden light.

You know better, Son. No playing w/phones during production. They carry bacteria.

What is that smell?

Combo of things. bit of cigar smoke, spilled booze, few patrons in desperate need of bath, maybe some vomit - and after Saturday night, fair chance of blood from bar fight. Marshall's got hands full keeping this place from turning into Wild West.

Sharon blinked @ sight of small stage tucked in corner - wrapped in what looked like cage. Do they have wild animals in here?

"Owner lets bands play here, but if they suck, crowd lets them know w/bottles, food, or whatever's w/in reach."

Definitely not for faint of heart, I'd say.

cuckoo for Cocoa Pops

(cuckoo for Cocoa PUFFS?)

Ziggy is a ridiculous nickname that I hate. It's from my middle name, Ezekiel, and they chose it because I'm named after my grandfather.

I forgot that they're closed on Mondays because they're usually busy on the weekends.

It's not unusual, love. Most places do that, even in Europe, remember?

I'll weigh a ton by the time this little guy comes along if I'm not careful.

Don't you worry about that. You're creating a human right now, so eat whatever the hell you want. The weight will come off.

It wasn't long after Frankie left that Sharon realized it was bloody difficult to make friends once you were older, especially the type of friend who you could absolutely be yourself with. She'd mourned that loss even as she celebrated Frankie's happily-ever-after with John.

soured Sharon on not only romance but anything resembling a relationship. Shag and release became her motto.

Leave it to me - my first shag in America and I'm the one smitten and wanting more. Talk about a fling gone wrong!

(Oooo ... origin of the title!)

Nothing irritated him more than having to stand up numerous times because someone couldn't control their bladder on a long flight.

British football is more elite than in America, and we call it soccer. American football is a major sport played with a lot of contact and violence. They're two very different games.

A man can't ever be prepared for what comes out of your mouth, Sharon.

No, but if he plays his cards right, he can help me with what comes in it.

this flight is eight hours long and I'm 6'6". There's no way I'm hopping the pond wedged into one of those coach seats like a sardine in a can.

There's just something about English cheddar that makes it the best. If we could replicate it easily at home, we already would have.