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We define love as looking out for another person’s interests and seeking to meet her needs. With this definition, all wrongful words and deeds are actually a lack of love. We cannot be loving a child and at the same time be treating her poorly. To insist that we are still loving her when we are behaving badly toward her is to make the word love meaningless. A child treated this way does not feel loved.

Remember, too, that some acts of service you will perform for your children come from highly developed skills you have that they may never acquire. We all have different aptitudes, and within a family we can serve one another with our unique abilities. As parents we must be careful not to force children to be replicas of us or, even worse, fulfill the dreams we never accomplished for ourselves.

The greatest need is for unconditional love first. Not conditional love.