Status Updates From Five Weeks in the Amazon

“I was surprised, but by no means disturbed, when he divulged his homosexual disposition.”

This is the weirdest way to say, “I didn’t realize he was gay until he told us.” But also, it’s unclear why we need to know this.

“Paris didn’t drink with us because she is on her period. She sat with us but apparently if a woman drinks Ayahuasca during her special time of month, it can bring bad energy into the ceremony.…blood is something no one wants to see, especially not when they are vulnerable.” Nope, hate that.

(He also points out that most people puke and have to void their bowels, but argues banning blood is about cleanliness. Yeah.)

This is quite a lot of judgement being heaped on young tourists in an organized trip by a man who considers snorting cocaine a “cultural experience”.

Such a slog.

This is not getting better.

This guy seems to think his shit doesn't stink. He expects to have "extra special" hallucinations and nothing like other people have had. His love is a magical panacea that can fix another person. He sits there passing judgement on other tourists for being "too touristy" and having brand name clothes, then drops the brand names of his backpacks. This guy is such a blowhard!

This guy is so pretentious! really? A miniature dream catcher is "really important" and can't be lost? I rolled my eyes so hard I am glad I don't wear contacts because they would be stuck at the back of my eyeballs.