Status Updates From The Fake Ghost

'“Fuck! The clown’s turned me back into the Invisible Man again, just as I was starting to get used to being human,” the president grumbled, glowering at the Babalawo. “Still, better a white ghost than a black human, right?”'

Jesus

“What’s it with you n*ggers anyways, huh? You people just can’t be trusted to seal a simple deal. Y’all too damn lazy to work for anything you want. You just expect it to be handed to you on a silver plate without doing the hard work. You think the whole world owes you a friggin’ living just because of the slavery bullshit. That’s why your continent has stayed a fly-dump despite all the aid poured into it”

😬

"If anyone would know the truth, it would be the President of the United States."

Uh

'“Are there women aliens too, Your Excellency?”

“Sure thing. The singer broad, Taylor Swift. Yep. Little green girl, I’m afraid. Psycho-bitch is a cloner and can split herself into thirteen alien Taylors, ensuring she has enough of herself to wreak chaos on humanity whenever she wants.”'

What 👽

“And when I say blood family, I don’t mean wives and broads, right?”

Jesus

“So, where were we before we got interrupted by the fat-squad?”

Damn

"The Chinese have turned my Mama into a man!"

What

"His favourite sport was golf, a clean game that left no marks on his pristine, white trousers. He excelled at it with such uncanny brilliance that he was already considered a protégé, even earning himself a glowing piece in one of the local dailies."

This definitely isn't about Trump then