Status Updates From The Loom Tree

‘“When you kissed me without permission. You also shifted without warning.”

“I kissed her gently, paternally, as a frog, not as a man. I did this because I sensed a libidinous desire in Miss Ghom directed toward my human male form. Understandable, in a pubescent girl without a father, to fixate on male authority figures....”’

HUH

Tempted to DNF bc this whole thing feels like Gossip Girl x fairy tale character reincarnations x the Matrix and apparently I'm not into that

“A nice white boy with varied interests. Good for Ruth. They made such a striking couple too. He must be what they call a Black Irishman, a mini John Cusack.”

This is sending me

‘“Are you waiting for Faye to wake up, so you can follow her around again like some pathetic puppy?”’

Damn rude

“...Faye’s more human than mineral, a weaker variant.”

Is she like a Pokemon? Wtf

“With one hand, he grabbed the blackboard’s edge and hung his head in defeat. His pose revealed a strong shoulder and shapely biceps under the tweed. I reminded myself he was a frog.”

So what's the issue here?

“I was no longer hot for teacher in his Kermit the Mage form but still thirsty for his teaching, so I buckled up for Professor Toad’s wild fucking ride.”

Bro what

Haven't picked this up in a few days and now I remembered that I left off at the part where the FMC's advisor turned into a giant frog and kissed her after his lecture

Her professor turned into a giant frog and kissed her???? 🐸

‘“I was gonna say that your new hairstyle’s growing on me, but not anymore. You look like all the other suburban girls who think a Reality Bites soundtrack and a vintage jacket constitute a personality and actual music taste. Next, you’ll be smoking cloves, writing in Moleskines.’

Damn Ruth no chill

“Having me wasn’t a youthful mistake as I’d always believed and felt guilty about. It was her strategic decision. My mom had me because I’d likely inherit her magic. Then she’d have someone to play out story dynamics with, to keep her connected to magic and to Alvsdahl. I was her ticket for re-entry, like a stamp on the hand or a festival bracelet.”

This is depressing

“My Korean was very limited. But I did know the word magic, which to me in Korean sounded less enchanting and fanciful. Instead, it connoted sorcery, of elemental forces and cosmic judgment, of mostly punishment and only sometimes reward. Or more frightening—it sounded primal and amoral, with a sense of humor that deemed humans trivial and ridiculous.”

Kinda dramatic

“Was I truly ready to know, though, what story my unknown father passed on to me? One thing to get a surprise legacy boost with a bump up the waitlist. Quite another to inherit magic from a deadbeat dad whose Euro-proximity, probably, was the thing to make me desired, a blood-born member of this shadow society determined by white-power fairy tales.”

That's one way to word it 😐

‘“How can I despair when I’m with you? You’re the only wifey I’ll give the bleeding key to my heart’s dungeon. And maybe you will save me? Put in a good word? Oh, you Ghengish Khunt, you’ve colonized me heart and soul.”’

I know they're from fairy tales but this is still such a strange way of speaking

‘“GRANDMISTRESS HAS BEEN GATHERING US for generations, fairy tales incarnate,” Faye began, “those who claim to be originals and those whose lives embody the ancient patterns—and lately, their children.”’

Idk how the FMC isn't freaking out about this if she's a normie and not from a fairy tale

“If you forgot the essay question, she told me to read this to you: ‘How do you envision yourself in your future? What kind of world do you want to live in?’ Guess they didn’t update it since Reagan.”

I'm dead

‘“Archivist lady said it pinged on her system years ago. They must track these things, though I’m hella surprised ’cause it’s not like you’re a North Korean gymnast...”’

Lady WHAT

“I asked Ms. Gonzales if I should market myself as an immigrant sob story or redemption tale.”

Lmao 💀

“SENIOR YEAR, I GOT INTO UCLA AND BERKELEY AND THE other UCs and Cal States that the Koreans from my school and Camp Juniper would surely attend.”

Damn girl

“I was most often mocked by the Korean kids and judged by their mothers, actually, because Halmoni was unwed, pretty, and likely abandoned with an illegitimate me, because instead of being ashamed, she proudly managed a dry cleaners and bragged how I was at the top of my class.”

Damn