Status Updates From Nightshade (Sorrowsong Univ...

Flirting via emails the way those two does it is my new standard

“From: Alex Corbeau-Green
Subject: Oneirology (noun) the scientific study of dreams
In the nineteen times it’s happened in my head, my first time on top of you didn’t look like this.”
Sorry for my neighbors because I just burst out of my chair and it might have dropped

Who the fuck is her stalker I swear this old creepy guy chancellor is weird as fuck but I don’t know if it’s him though

The amount of time I’ve giggled kicked my feet and screamed hysterically from the interactions between those two characters should be illegal

“ He slowly takes in my skintight dress and rubs a palm over his mouth like he’s desperately trying not to say something. ‘How was the date?’
‘It was…nice.’
‘Nice?’
‘Yeah, nice.’
‘He didn’t deserve it.’
‘The date?’
‘That dress.’
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

Vincenzo texting Ophelia that if Shawn tries something with her Alex is up to pick her up at the date STOP and did I mention I love Vincenzo he’s so funny

“ I frown at him, eyes flicking up to the bleeding gash above his eyebrow.
He sticks out his bottom lip, tone dripping in dry humor. I hate that it’s endearing. ‘It hurts.’
‘Not more than the silver spoon stuck up your ass, surely?’
‘Maybe even a little bit more.’ “
I loooooooove their banter

“ A muscle in his jaw twitches. ‘Here’s a crossword clue for you. Two words. Five and six. First letter S. A massive wanker who paid for a tanning bed in the Scottish Highlands.’ “
I eating this up guys

‘What the fuck, Ophelia?’
I SENSE JEALOUSY OMG YES

She blocked his number so he keeps sending her emails I LOVE THAT

‘How was it?’
‘It was great. The big ones hurt, so…Alex is perfect.’
‘Best two inches of her life.’
These two are so fucking hilarious

Is this Harry Potter or what?