Status Updates From Too Cold for Comfort

"Sure, I could ask him to do this himself, but maybe I want a reason to touch him. He definitely should lock his door tonight."

That's...no. You know what? I quit. This is so weird.

"Scratch that. I can’t even relegate his hotness to regular men. He’s just hot in all circumstances."

You don't know any other words besides he's hot, do you? Because I'd be impressed.

"There are worse things than literally being swept off your feet by the sexiest man you’ve ever seen in real life."

Ninth 🫩

"this slightly over-the-top male behavior is actually kind of hot."

Eighth.

"Reid turns to find me staring at him, and he arches a dark brow. Fuck, why is his face so. . .symmetrical?"

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa corta!!

"...Remember the rule of the jungle: You don’t have to run fast, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy.”

That's cruel 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but have a point tho, Andy!

La odias pero le miras el pecho? Vaya, eres un encanto.

“You mean taking free trips in exchange for a few photos and some dirt on the locals.”

Fine, some "influencers" do. But some! You didn't even give her the chance to do her job before judging her, ass****

“So what are you here for then, Gossip Girl?”

And I thought kitten was an awful nickname

He pins me with a dark look I can’t interpret. “You never have to apologize for calling out assholes in my lodge.”

Careful with what you wish 😈

"I catch the roll of his eyes along with the tiniest tug at the corner of his mouth, proving he’s capable of smiling with the right motivation. Why do I suddenly want to be the one who tugs that corner up further? Maybe it’s because he’s so contained. So. . .stoic."

Again: You. Just. Met. Him.

"Highly. Really, highly, and very inappropriate. I mentally slap myself. I’m a professional, not a horny heroine in a romance novel."

*sips coffee* whatever you say.

"He’s changed into a black T-shirt that molds to his chest like it was woven by a flock of horny angels, revealing a tattoo of pink flowers and green leaves on his bicep."

HAGSHAHAJAJAKAHAHAHAHA...
What?

I already love this FMC. She’s hilarious

"Fuck everyone and their expectations. If this was what it meant to be in a committed relationship, then I’d rather be alone forever."

For the first time since I started reading, I'll say well done! 👏🏻