Status Updates From The Man of Wind and Moss

How are these two fucking right before the encounter with the Big Bad???? 🫠

“He reached his hand back around and back inside himself and he did it slowly, agonizingly, like playing a tiny violin. Unfortunately, this further stimulated his prostate. It was miserable. His dick was getting hard. He was going to cum. He was being raped by this tree...”

WTF am I reading

Not sure how you can get hard and horny after sacrificing some goats but okay

“Your parents never met you halfway, that was a myth. You had to go 90% of the way to explain their behavior and their beliefs to yourself and to them, and you had to suggest helpful ways of healing without scaring them away. Talking to your parents about mental health was like tricking a dog to eat a pill.”

Damn that's deep

‘“...Sure, we have creative majors and stuff but all of that is expected to be abandoned outside the walls of this school. It’s Florida State, Doll, look around you. We’re not pumping out art conservators. Our quarterback stole crab legs from Publix.”’

Lmao damn

“He could smell her sweat and see the mud on her clothes start to harden. He imagined stripping them off and bathing her in a river. Living like bush people. Coaching her through labor as she gave birth along a riverbank, the baby writhing and slopping in glit.”

His friend just got killed and another got injured and this is what he's thinking about???

Not another horror novel with a diverse friend group who end up fucking in a cabin in the middle of nowhere 😮‍💨

‘Getting desperate, she suggested going back to school a few times, an option Marco shot down like a fighter ace. “I saw the best minds of my generation ruined by grad school,” he once joked.’

Lmao