Status Updates From Green & Deadly Things

Already loving this!

For some reason I decided to add 7th book to my March pile, idk what I'm doing anymore, but the review from Books Blabbering Cait convinced me to request this...

A list of trigger warnings in the ARC would have been nice. If there is one in the official release then that's great! But as someone who cannot read or watch certain depictions of body horror, getting jump-scared by an on-page description of graphic violence being committed by plants made it difficult to continue until a friend could look over the scene and tell me where to resume reading.

‘“Did he truly reveal his plans? Brag about everything he intends?”

“Mostly,” Math said. “Could’ve used more detail. Maybe a map or two. But I’m not complaining.”’

This book gets more and more stupid by the chapter

“He doesn’t think of you as his daughter. I saw how he stared at you. That was not the gaze of a loving parent.”

Ew

”gravefucker” ???

👁️👄👁️

‘“Remember that you’re a wild mage,” she murmured. “Your limitations are self-imposed.”

“My inability to manifest a weapon begs to differ.”

“My magic doesn’t care about my belief, but yours does, and you countered a spell I cast at the height of my powers without even trying. Don’t undersell yourself.”’

He's The One™️!! 🙄

‘She cleared her throat, straightened her borrowed uniform, and asked sweetly, “Are all your balls this large?”’

Bro enough with the balls 😮‍💨

‘“Is it truly so common in this era for men to sit as if you are royalty on a throne?” She glanced down–not at his legs, but his hips. “With your legs spread wide open as though some invisible lover is nestled between them, about to give you a—”’

Oh god

“...The imitation wasn’t perfect: leaves replaced hair, branches grew from skin, and thorns substituted for nails. Math couldn’t tell if Huraiik wore clothing made from plants, or if his body had grown foliage to mimic garments. He didn’t look like a tree—but he certainly didn’t look human.”

Gross AND cool

‘“You did raise the dead. Twice. I watched.”

“It’s hardly my fault that corpses are so convenient to animate. They come pre-articulated.”’

👁️👄👁️

“Knights were rising, one by one—some missing limbs, others with crushed torsos. Captain Qin’s face was a mask of gore, one eye rolling blindly. Still he moved, just like the others.

They attacked the Kaliri in grim silence, unflinching and methodical. Math watched one knight get shot point-blank in the chest, stagger back—then snatch the weapon and beat its wielder to death with it.”

ZOMBIES 🧟‍♀️

‘The little girl bounced on her toes. “Are you going to kiss the pretty lady and break the spell?”

Math blinked. “What?” He glanced at the body, then away. “No!”

Jaiik piped up, “Can I kiss the pretty lady and break the spell?”

Tanxi burst into tense laughter as Taris smacked Jaiik’s head.’

👁️👄👁️

So far I don't hate this but it's giving older YA magical school x zombie invasion and I can't take it as seriously as the story wants me to lmao

‘The small man grinned at Math as he wiped black-green blood away from his mouth. “You might want to duck.”

Still grinning, Abhigan bit down and tore open the veins in his wrist.

Dark green sprayed onto the wall and ran down in rivulets, flowing into the mortar grooves between the stone blocks.

The blood didn’t flow the right way. It didn’t drip like blood at all...’

Bro WHAT 🤢

“...The hammer caught him in the shield, splintering it, and drove through, tossing the knight into the air and sending him sailing a good ten feet away, although he turned into a crow before landing, and flew away.

So he was probably fine.”

Wait what 🐦‍⬛

‘“We found the body of a lumberjack, Captain,” a knight answered. “It was still alive inside the tree trunk.”

“Was,” someone else agreed.’

🤢

“A gushing stream of crimson poured from both sides of the felled tree’s trunk. It wasn’t sap. It looked like . . .

Was that blood?”

Brother what 🌳🩸

‘“There was that giant grimmock out in East Castinion, remember? That thing was ripping limbs off with its bare hands.” He shook his head, genuinely perplexed. “That’s the thing. Dismembered would be normal. Disgusting, but normal. It’s like tearing apart a chicken. The wings and the legs—the arms and the legs here—everything comes apart at the joints.”’

Brother ewww

This character's name is Mathaiik but his nickname is MATH. Good lord 😭

“Ice the size of cherries, of plums, hit him on the arms, on the side of his head, before he reached shelter. The wood roof overhead shuddered, the ice a barrage, like cannon fire . . .

Catimus Abhigan turned white when the first boom echoed, when he realized what it meant.

He’d been wrong. Again, he’d been wrong: the trees had summoned hail to clear the bombard field.”

Magic trees‽‽

“The Queen of Oaks was a woman and yet still a tree. She had no hair but branches that sprouted from her head like antlers, and no clothing save for the suggestion of different thickness of bark and leaves and vegetal matter. Her skin, too, seemed less skin than smooth bark, and if she had legs at all, he couldn’t see them. There was just the trunk and roots, joined smoothly to her hips....”

Hell yeah 🌳