Status Updates From 廚房

“‘You see, Yuichi, how much I don’t want to lose you. We’ve been very lonely, but we had it easy. Because death is so heavy—we, too young to know about it, couldn’t handle it. After this you and I may end up seeing nothing but suffering, difficulty, and ugliness, but if only you’ll agree to it, I want for us to go on to more difficult places, happier places, whatever comes, together.’” 101

“I knew it: the glittering crystal of all the good times we’d had, which had been sleeping in the depths of memory, was awakening and would keep us going. Like a blast of fresh wind, the richly perfumed breath of those days returned to my soul.”

“‘Why is it that everything I eat when I’m with you is so delicious?’” 100

“We all believe we can choose our own path from among the many alternatives. But perhaps it’s more accurate to say that we make the choice unconsciously.” 97

“I felt that I was inside Yuichi’s nightmare, and that if I stayed here too long I, too, would become a part of it, destined to be snuffed out in the gloom.” 99

“Since then, even when he was standing next to me, I had felt as if Yuichi were in some other world, at the other end of a telephone line.” 89

“People aren’t overcome by situations or outside forces; defeat invades from within, I thought.”

“Before my eyes something was coming to an end, something I didn’t want to end, but for which I lacked the energy to suffer, much less fight.” 92

“The times of great happiness and great sorrow were too intense; it was impossible to reconcile them with the routine of daily life.” 87

“… But I’m not free, I realized; I’ve been touched by Yuichi’s soul. How much easier it would be to stay away forever.” 88 (this one hit differently. made me… ponder.)

“‘I really needed you to make me laugh,’ he said, rubbing his eyes with his arm, ‘so much I couldn’t stand it anymore.’” 51

“Having known such joy, there was no going back.” 59

“‘… But love is not a joke, it also means sharing someone else’s pain.’” 72

“In the uncertain ebb and flow of time and emotions, much of one’s life history is etched in the senses.” 75

“From the bottom of my heart, I wanted to give up; I wanted to give up on living. There was no denying that tomorrow would come, and the day after tomorrow, and so next week, too. I never thought it would be this hard, but I would go on living in the midst of a gloomy depression, and that made me feel sick to the depths of my soul. In spite of the tempest raging within me, I walked the night path calmly.” 48

“‘There!’ she said. ‘Self defense, that makes us even.’ Those were her last words.”

“I felt like my insides had been gouged out. And now she is no longer here. She isn’t anywhere anymore.” 45