Status Updates From Mentiders

“It wasn’t happiness; it was the temporary cessation of pain. But I wouldn’t know that for another seven years.”

“I wanted neither a divorce nor a disdainful partner, so there I was, hoping for a third option.”

“I was a layer cake of abandonment and hurt and fury, iced with a smile.”
“I thought, If I had the energy I’d leave him, and then I folded up that little thought, wrapped it in gauze, and swallowed it.”

“By noon I’d showered, dressed, tidied the house of John’s shoes and clothes, put away laundry, swept to the floor, watered the garden, moved boxes to the garage, cooked breakfast, eaten, done the dishes, taken out the recycling, handled correspondence, and made the bed John had gotten up and taken a shit.”

“I decided to examine my rage, determine what I needed, and rely on John for no part of it. I imagined never needing to ask him for anything ever again.”

“And yet no married woman I knew was any better off, so I determined to carry on.”

“The reality I wanted didn’t include this event, so I stepped around it and continued on.”

“Agreeing to be someone’s wife should be done only if you can’t help yourself, I thought, but of course no one can help herself.”

“Tonight I learned why my mother always squealed and shrink away when my father tried to touch her: She was a fortress. And inside that fortress was rage, and in the center of that rage was the pain of the insult of being treated like a stupid maid.”

“When I was young, all that fathers ever had to do was sit in offices, eat at restaurants for lunch, do whatever they wanted wherever they went, and then come home and appear hard-working and loyal. Loyal, just for coming home to eat food and enjoy a clean and well-run house that a woman maintained just so a father could do whatever he wanted inside and outside of it.”