Status Updates From Hexes of the Deadwood Forest

He already decided long ago to join that “fucked-up soyhead” club, to become Adek of the Tofu Coat of Arms—but his veganism [...] does not stem from a concern for the planet but is rather for the purity and cleanliness of that little cave of his, which so often is explored by his numerous lovers. [...] the role he’s playing in the theater of eco-conscious living ends there.