Status Updates From Respect: An Exploration

“The promise and potential of ‘ quantity’ time with our children; a time to ‘be’ together; a kind of attention that neither expect nor demands response; the permission to just sit side-by-side, eyes not meeting, allowing Person to be engaged in his or her own activity or be deeply immersed in his or her own thoughts; just feeling the diffuse light, just taking the time to be present.”

“They could not return his smiles, his conversation, even his eye contact; and Bill had to discover within himself the selfless, generous gesture that does not expect or demand reaction. This is a rare and difficult discipline. I suspect that we all offer our smiles expecting one in return.”

“‘ I was terrified I’d have no ideas… I never thought of myself as an intellectual. I thought that my success in school was due to the fact that I was a good mimic. I had a good memory talking was never difficult. But I always found it hard to commit myself on and leave myself open for other peoples evaluation of me. I wanted people to love me.” (188) (David Wilkins)

“The pretense of harmony never leads to the kind of vigorous question ‘ interweaving of ideas’ that is the bedrock of respect.”

She understands that dialogue includes talk and silence. 102