Status Updates From The Forces: A Novel

‘Beckett dug a lot, they say—He could be seen in the distance, digging like a madman—Hölderlin—run towards the earth—You might want to—invent a language within a language—Alexander Grothendieck : It is when we fear making mistakes that the error within us becomes immutable, like a rock—& you’re nothing but the synthesis of the humanity that precedes you—you’ll give human consciousness to human consciousness.’

‘—language is a system, speech is an act—human beings kill each other over words—do you know the story of Chekhov’s millionaire? I answered—man made a million marks, lay down on them, & shot himself—And this truth is passed on from generation to generation by the people who tell us stories. The Earth does not archive things well—When it’s true, writing comes from an ember within one’s being—for poems—we have ghosts.’

‘—the transitory edifice,—a sort of link between the past & the future—the eternity of time disfigures us. Then—in the air she spun around—what she was deep down, in the black hole of her consciousness—What is intense? The truth. You often say ‘that speaks to me’ about things you think you like, but what speaks to you? Deep down, what speaks to you? Eyes. & questions like—Where does time begin—why do things float?’

‘—there was Monique Wittif, Violette Leduc, Audre Lorde, Kathy Acker—They had a different kind of beauty from what I saw everywhere, because they’d made it themselves—N introduced me—These people adopted me the way you adopt a strange dog—I became part of the clan. I became—regular. The girls were kind—so I unwound. Conformism—to avoid social punishment—all the while masking—I translated her language—she's thinking.’

‘—the ordinary operators of a process—going on for a long time—born into a rotten world. Materialism, wage labour—lived on their faces—at the supermarket—cars—on the screens. Babies have a neural system interconnected to preferential pathways—in my naivety, I wanted to—break the chains of conditioning—No book saved me—The principle of the food chain is killing—I wondered, is the beauty of the Universe a coincidence?’

‘Our forebears passed life on to us—& so we pass on life—& after our life—atoms will form new combinations—Human beings pour their thoughts into the thoughts of others—Like rats—weasels—born into the world as it stands—But most humans go further—language exists—Memories spread blots of darkness deep within—know by heart—There's something infinitely beautiful in faces—creating—past—present—& the future—consciousness—’