Status Updates From Wicker

“As the musicians struck up, the wicker husband and the ugly girl went to dance. The villagers could not help staring: the wicker husband moved so fine. He lifted his dumpy wife like she was nought but a feather, and swung her round and round. He swayed and shimmered; he was elegant, he was graceful. As for the ugly girl, she was in heaven.”

Dumpy wife 😭

“As winter turned to spring, and rain pelted down, the wicker husband became a little mouldy, so the ugly girl had to scrub him down with a brush and a bottle of vinegar. Spring turned to summer, and June was very dry. The wicker husband complained of stiffness in his joints, and spent the hottest hour of the day lying in the stream. The ugly girl took her fish-gutting, and sat on the bank, keeping him company.”

Aww

“‘The chimney needs cleaning,’ she said, hopefully, ‘And the fire could be laid …’

But at this, the wicker husband – she was just beginning to learn his expressions – looked completely terrified. From this, the ugly girl came to understand that there are some things you cannot ask a man to do, even if he is very kind.”

Crying

“Once upon a time, there was an ugly girl. She was short and dumpy, had one leg a bit shorter than the other, and her eyebrows met in the middle. She gutted fish for a living, so her hands smelt funny and her dress was covered in scales....”

Talk about an intro

This story was not what it seemed and I really enjoyed it surprisingly

Getting ready for Wicker in 4DX.

I will not be taking questions at this time.

Time to get weird