Status Updates From The Iliad

Helen: I wish I were dead
Priam: Wow these Greek men are such hunks!

paris being that one guy that nobody can fucking stand

I really love how absolutely no one, except Aphrodite, even likes Paris. The Greeks hate him because he stole Helen, his family hates him because he stole Helen and caused all this war. Even Helen hates Paris for being a coward who shies away from the fight he started, and she hates him for kidnapping her. Helen consistently compares Paris to Menelaus and consistently concludes that Paris sucks.