Status Updates From Free at Last! Diaries, 1991...

Mice were ruled by Black cats so one day they elected white cats who set up a speed limit for mice that it was easier for cats to catch them & introduced bigger mouseholes so they could get their paws in and pull the mice out. Then they elected black cats with white spots then white cats with black spots. A mouse said why don’t we put up a candidate and he was immediately locked up as a revolutionary.

Feb 6th 1994

Today I drafted a New Labour Clause 4 called Clause 4a: “To secure for the Shadow Cabinet the full fruits of ministerial office on the basis of the existing distribution of wealth and the present administration and control of each industry and service.”