Status Updates From Intercepted

The conversations between the characters are way too proper; never using contractions...it really gets on my nerves and distances me from the characters, because normally people don't talk like that.

In my book the main conflict is happening. Natalie and Jake are getting closer which is making Natalie's boyfriend jealous. Natalie is working harder than ever to try and get closer to her goal of getting accepted into her new job.

In my book right now Natalie and Jake are starting to spend more time with each other. Natalie found out that the job she wanted to get in California requires for her to be a lifeguard at times. Natalie is terrified since she had a terrible swimming experience. Jake is offering to help her since he is an ex polo swimmer.

In my book right now Natalie is now trying to fight for her job because a lot of people are getting fired. After work her and a bunch of staff play poker. While they are playing poker someone walks into the room to play poker with them. The next day they start to see Jake around, and later on in the day Jake starts talking to Natalie. They become friends so far.

Page 95- Intercepted. In my book so far Natalia is working in Aspen. It's mostly telling me about her life style before Aspen and how she ended up working there during the winter.

Can't help comparing this to Price of a kiss" by Linda Kage, which was infinitely better!

The way the story shoots fowards and the characters are introduced it feels like a short story... Great setting. Nice idea but everything is so rushed.

Really having a hard time getting into this one.