Status Updates From Breaking van Gogh: Saint-Ré...

"Van No"

no

The Van Gogh Museum should do a lot more

You gonna pay for that, boo?

"the artist must be dead"

I know. You've said this half a dozen times.

The author states that he has considered stealing a chip of paint from the work in question. Um, Met dear? Please ban this man from your premises.

Yes, I know about the FOIA request. This was all covered early on in the book.

What on EARTH does Titanic have too do with anything??

A landscape painting of such size and majesty

Wait - isn't is just a forgery by "a third-rate artist"? But it's still majestic?

In 1901, the year when Emile Schuffenecker would have forged Vincent’s work, the forger no longer could have had access to Tanguy’s paints and the special, custom-made ground pigments he had created for van Gogh, since Tanguy died in 1894.

Well, artisans have such things as apprentices, or journals - is it not possible that, especially given VVG's new fame, Tanguy might have taught the making, or left recipes?

If Schuff had been an artist of great stature, he would have pushed on, just like van Gogh had pushed against his mental and physical ailments and lack of money, and produced a massive oeuvre.

I'm sorry, have you MET artists? Or even just ... people? Van Gogh used painting as therapy, and produced a lot. Some can't create when they're in certain states of mind or heart. Can't. People. Are. Different. Weird, huh?

Schuffenecker became so enthusiastic about his work that he decided to ‘improve’ on several other van Goghs that he felt were unfinished

*feels faint again*

the stunning works that he sent to Postmaster Roulin, who then rolled the still-damp canvases with the paint facing out, stacked four or five on top
of each other, inserted the rolls into shipping tubes, like architectural drawings...

I feel faint

Come to that, you're telling me that this absurdly rich collector would leave empty spaces on his walls? Please - he'd bring out his second string works - no, sorry, he'd have his staff fill in the holes with second string works

With most of his fine art elsewhere, Sunnylands felt empty, as if the Annenbergs had just sent their children off to college for the first time. Sure, there were the Chinese porcelain and Meissen vases and lesser artwork ...

Oh, break my heart. #EatTheRich

“How could they not, Lee? It was a sumptuous affair. Great company, better conversation. The entire evening matched the red-hot economy in Japan … "

*screams silently*

“It’s as superb as this note from the First Lady. She and George had a wonderful time last month at Sunnylands. They enjoyed the dinner we hosted in honor of George’s presidency together with Prime Minister Kaifu and his lovely wife.”

If you're going to commit creative nonfiction, can't you at least manage believable dialogue? This is horrendous.

He felt blood race through his veins; his face flushed. He
jumped up and down, like when he played soccer in high
school and his team scored a goal.

Did he? Did he really?

“Will the project be a success?” Hortense asked, adjusting her shoulder-length, dyed brown hair.

What on earth is this? Do the minutes of this meeting reflect that Hortense adjusted her hair and what color it was? And what does "adjusting" mean in this context anyway? WHAT AM I READING?

So, given all the imagined dismay at wrinkles and other internal monologuing so far, this would be an example of creative non-fiction then?

Why is this necessary? Padding to make it into a "full-length book"? *insert Joe Friday meme here*