Status Updates From IQ (IQ, #1)

Why, oh, why, did the author have to include a spit take? :(

The use of spit takes, along with things like weak depictions of laughter and crying (which, thankfully, Ide avoids) are one of the Rob Baker Signs of Amateur Writing.

Fortunately, the rest of Ide's writing is awesome! I'll allow him one little slip up :)

"The man had the shakes and was looking around like he'd lost a child at the county fair, his face sagging like Auntie May's basset hound, his eyes yellow and bloodshot from seeing too much of his own life.

Youngsters were staying away from crack. They'd seen too many crackheads wandering the streets all stank-ass nasty, groveling for change, and trying to sell you a toaster oven with the power cord cut off" (189).

"When Isaiah was in his teens, he worked for Harry Haldeman and wondered even then how the man could stay in a state of perpetual indignation" (121).

"Anthony was staring at a photograph of a seagull like it was flying away with his youth" (113).

"Cal felt like a Winnebago on a one-lane road, Bobby a Porsche Turbo weaving around behind him blasting the horn" (117).

"Dodson's eggs came out moist and fluffy. By then, the hashbrowns had a crust on them, the ham was still arm, the sourdough toast slathered with butter. He took a moment to admire the plate. 'Like the cover of a Denny's menu,' he said" (92-93).