Status Updates From The Sacrifice Box

If Mario dies I’m going to be freaking devastated

Being a gay Psych student has kind of ruined the concept of bullying for me because every single time I encounter a situation that concerns one person ruthlessly targeting another person (usually of the same gender) all I can think is “This is obvious reaction formation and denial lol”

Keith Daniels is gay for Sep like why are you so obsessed with him bud

Oh my god he’s so aggravating.

WHY ARE ALL THE ANIMALS DYING IN HORRIFIC WAYS

Who has time to get beaten up by crabs at a time like this?

“You know when your mom wants some peace and quiet, so she gives you more Tylenol than you really need?”
“No”
“Oh.”

“You don’t look good”
“That’s genetic— I have ugly parents”

Like why is there a full grown deer in a vet office right now

THEY JUST LEFT THE OTHER DOG TO DIE?!

I just know his dentist is impressed with his oral hygiene

Of course it’s not gonna be fixed if you didn’t even close the stupid box

“Prisons not like a youth club, they don’t stamp your hand so you can get back in”

Oh no, my table, it’s broken

Why can’t he just use his stupid Walkman

A book has never been made better by killing off a dog. So why do they continue to do so?

“You can’t run, you wheezy bitch! We can hear you!”

This kids name is really Wayne Bruce?