Status Updates From A Horse Walks into a Bar

“Because what is stand-up, after all? Have you ever considered that? Take it from me, Netanya, when it comes right down to it, it’s a pretty pathetic form of entertainment, let’s be honest. Do you know why? Because you can smell our sweat! Our effort to make you laugh! That’s why!”

Anyway, we’ve learned how to live with all that, we got used to it, it’s like part of our heritage.

I was becoming ever so slightly fond of it, you know, with those charming fairy tales about the Elders of Zion, those bearded old hook-nosed trolls sitting around together, munching on tapas of leprosy with cilantro and plague, exchanging recipes for quinoa braised in well poison, slaughtering the occasional Christian child for Passover—Hey, guys, have you noticed the kids are tasting a little astringent this year?

’Let’s say, an Israeli scientist came up with a cure for cancer, right? A medicine that would finish off that cancer once and for all? Well, then I guarantee you the next day people all over the world would start speaking out and there’d be protests and demonstrations and UN votes and editorials in all the European papers, and they’d all be saying, ‘Now wait a minute, why must we harm cancer?