Status Updates From How to Have Confidence and ...

1. Criticism must be made in absolute privacy.

2. Preface criticism with a kind word or compliment.

3. Make the criticism impersonal; criticize the act, not the person.

4. Supply the answer.

5. Ask for cooperation; don't demand it.

6. One criticism to an offense.

7. Finish in a friendly fashion.

"What is your opinion about this matter?" or "How would you go about doing this?"

The ideal business executive today is not a man who is a genius, not a man who is so smart that he has all the ideas that are possible.
He is a man smart enough to avail himself of the countless ideas of the men working under him, and with the administrative ability to make final decisions and see them put into action.
He is a genius all right, but in human relations rather than in creative ideas.

"Why did you do that?"

"How did you manage that?"

"What did you say then?"

These, and similar questions, will get you a reputation as one of the most interesting talkers that your companion has ever met.

He Assumed the Attitude He Expected the Other Person to Take

Another thing I noticed was this: because he was thoroughly convinced that the other person would be friendly, he was not afraid of people. He was not on the defensive.

says that the best way ever discovered by psychology to get a "yes" response is to put the other fellow in a "yes" mood.
You do this by creating a positive and affirmative atmosphere, rather than a negative one.

7 Right now, begin deliberately to cultivate a confident manner. Don't mumble your words as if you were afraid to express them. Speak out. Watch your posture. A slumped figure signifies that you find the burdens of life too heavy for you to bear. A drooping head signifies that you are defeated by life. Hold your head up. Straighten up your shoulders. Walk with a confident step as if you had somewhere important to go.

6. Begin today deliberately to cultivate an enthusiastic attitude. Take a tip from Frank Bettger and act as if you were enthusiastic. Soon you'll feel enthusiastic.

3. Act or feel hostile and the other fellow reflects this hostility back to you. Shout at him, and he is almost compelled to shout back. Act calmly and unemotionally, and you turn away his anger before it gets started.

4. Act enthusiastic and you arouse the enthusiasm of the other person.

5. Act confidently and the other person has confidence in you.

CHAPTER 4 IN BRIEF

1. Whether you realize it or not, you control the actions and attitudes of others by your own actions and attitudes.

2. Your own attitudes are reflected back to you from the other person almost as if you stood before a mirror.

Just as you can make others enthusiastic by being enthusiastic, you can make others have confidence in you and in your proposition-by acting confidently.

3. Remind yourself that other people are important, and your attitude will get across to the other person.

4. Starting today, begin to notice other people more. Pay attention to a man or a child, and you make him feel important.

5. Don't lord it over other people, or attempt to increase your own feeling of self-importance by making other people feel small.

New York 1947

POINTS TO REMEMBER IN CHAPTER 3

1 Don't be stingy in feeding the hunger for a feeling of importance

2 Don't underestimate small courtesies such as being on time for an appointment. It is by such small things that we acknowledge the importance of the other person. Unfortunately we are often more courteous to strangers than to home folks. Try treating your family and friends with the same courtesy you show strangers

You Want to Make a Good Impression on the Other Fellow. But the Most Effective Way Ever Discovered for Impressing the Other Fellow Is to Let Him Know That You Are Impressed by Him.

Let him know that he impresses you and he will judge you one of the smartest, most personable individuals he ever met.

J. C. Staehle, after analyzing many surveys found that the principal causes of unrest among workers were the following listed in the order of their importance

1. Failure to give credit for suggestions

2. Failure to correct grievances

3. Failure to encourage

4. Criticizing employees in front of other people

5. Failure to ask employees their opinions

6. Failure to inform employees of their progress

7. Favoritism

For our own feelings about ourselves are to a large extent the reflections of the feelings other people have, or seem to have, about us.

Not one man in a million can long maintain his feeling of dignity and worth, so necessary to his well-being, if everyone he meets treats him as if he were a "nobody" and worthless

One of the most universal hungers is the hunger to feel important, to have your personal worth as a human being confirmed by others, to be appreciated to be noticed.

It is within your power to add to the feeling of personal worth of the other person. It is within your power to make him like himself a little better. It is within your power to make him feel appreciated and accepted.

7. Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

8. Remember LS/MFT. Low Self-esteem Means Trouble and Friction.

9. Help the other fellow like himself better and you make him easier to get along with.

10. People act, or fail to act, largely to enhance their own egos.

THE ESSENCE OF CHAPTER 2

1. We are all egotists.

2. We are all more interested in ourselves than in anything else in the world.

3. Every person you meet wants to feel important, and to amount to something.

4. There is a hunger in every human being for approval.

5. A hungry ego is a mean ego.

6. Satisfy the other person's hunger for self-esteem and he automatically becomes more friendly and likeable.

To the person with low self-esteem, even a critical look or one harsh word can seem like a calamity. The so-called "sensative souls" who see some "dig" or double-meaning in even the most innocent remark are suffering from low self-esteem. The braggart, the show-off, and the blusterer are also suffering from low self-esteem.

How to understand the bully. Even the arrogant person, who attempts to ..

CHAPTER 1 IN A NUTSHELL

1. 66 to 90 % failures

2. So-called personality problems, such as timidity, shyness, and self-consciousness, are basically problems in dealing with people.

3. Learn skills in dealing with people with confidence and you will automatically improve your own success and happiness.

4. Learn the underlying principles involved in dealing with people and you won't need gimmicks.

New York 1951.