Status Updates From So You Want to be a Robot a...

20. "The Gentleman of Chaos": 1/5. haven't been keeping track of these anymore because I don't care but oh my goddd this one was so bad.

16. "Batteries For Your Doombot1500 Are Not Included": 4/5. oh my god is it a story I genuinely enjoyed?? HELL YEAH. Good retiree superhero/supervillain cheese. I do Not understand why there has to be sex in nearly every story, I'm genuinely irritated at allo queer authors in general about this, but still. It's cute. It's self-contained. It's funny. Nothing groundbreaking but cute.

15. "To the Monsters, With Love": 1/5. word salad! and I absolutely hate using this word as a derisive term anymore but, very nearly cringey! "They cry 'Stockholm Syndrome!' when I say your name." askdjhakjfsdfsd please stop. "It's cold here in my so-called happy ending." aaaaaaaaaaaagh

14. "Winter Bride": 2.5/5. It's... fine. But I'm thoroughly over the overuse of parentheses for dramatic effect. (Like this.)

13. "Finding Home": 1.5/5. sounding like a broken record now but: cool concept, wretchedly boring execution. The way the suspense is broken not with a bang but a whimper is almost funny. it's eight pages long and felt like 3 - just, no substance to these things. what do people enjoy about both writing and reading stories like this???

12. "To the Knife-Cold Stars": 2/5. a sequel to the previous story, with the interesting setting and characterization drained away.

11. "Of Blessed Servitude": 3/5. cool concepts, mildly compelling POV character, extremely annoying habit of saying "'round" instead of "around" in narration, not dialogue, as in "wrapped a hand 'round the open cuffs." ugh. the over-the-top Puritan naming symbolism was... a choice.

10. "Under Wine-Bright Seas": 2/5. It's just pure fantasy wish-fulfillment for the author with no real interest for me personally. Like... I've read this story before, there's nothing new, there's nothing of particular value here. Not to be crass but it's affirmation porn.

9. "Thread": 3/5. I guess. The bare frame of the idea is intriguing, and the aliens are even more so, but, as usual, there's just not enough here to care that deeply.

8. "A Survival Guide For When You're Trapped In a Black Hole": -/- about the death of a pet and I simply Cannot right now.

7. "Where Monsters Dance": 1.5/5. half cliche and half word salad. It probably deserves higher but I just dislike it, partly because of the tired "this isn't a FAIRYTALE it's DARK and ANGRY (but I'm gonna use a bunch of surface-level fairytale imagery/language anyway)" schtick.

6. "Once I, Rose": 2/5. Kinda cool concept but, again, I find it hard to care.

5. "For Want of a Heart": 1/5. Word salad.

4. "The Android's Prehistoric Menagerie": 3/5. I like robots. I like dinosaurs. So this was pretty okay. The extinction event's sheer implausibility broke my suspension of disbelief real bad, but whatever.

3: "The Sorcerer's Unattainable Gardens": 2/5. Again, it's a story outline, and the authorial voice is too intrusive. Very late-stage Wayward Children.

2. "Tomorrow When We See the Sun": 3.5/5. I really, really do not like this author's very standard Pretentious Queer Millennial voice but this story has some oomph to it for sure. I didn't want to but I got pretty invested despite the writing style. Like if Murderbot was a lot sadder and lonelier and had a whiff of Locked Tomb about it.

1. "This Is Not A Wardrobe Door": 2/5. Some good imagery but it's so short, none of it really means anything. It's a story outline, not a story. And you will never win points with me by acting like you're above Narnia while writing portal fantasy.

I continue to be BLOWN THE FUCK AWAY by this author's writing. Just. SO MUCH PERFECTION!!!