Status Updates From Every Hidden Thing

ain’t no way this was in a middle school library 💀

back to the paleontologists because I feel an irrational sense of guilt for starting another book without finishing this one first 😀

Not my particular cup of tea but it isn’t absolutely horrible so far

attempting to dwindle my physical tbr ever so slowly

THE DIFFERENT FONTS ARE THE DIFFERENT MAIN CHARACTERS. NEW PET PEEVE UNLOCKED. WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS.

Why did the font change suddenly….

I swear to god, if he gets a “vision quest” from the snake venom, I’m committing some type of crime.

You know he’s a bad protagonist when the thought of him dying from a snake bite excites me.

A few days into this marriage and he’s already being an emotionally abusive asshole. Great.

“Once he passed gas quite musically.”

Bitch, what?
But also, see my point about comedy, Kenneth?

THE DAMP HAIR OF HER UNDERARMS? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

“Because now the pain was fading, and I was beginning to recognize the pleasurable tightening, the spreading heat I sometimes gave myself, only this time it was more urgent, and much, much better.”

Consult a woman next time, dude. This shit is so false.

Oppel, you should try comedies.

“Can we be orphans if we have each other?” followed by Rachel’s flat “Yes” is so stupidly funny. The dick tap. Manacling the fathers together. Stop trying to write serious stuff because you suck at it.

STOP TALKING ABOUT NATIVE CULTURE, WHITE BOY

Cartland flicking him in the dick is kinda hilarious, not gonna lie.

I swear every fucking book where a woman is in pain during her first time is written by a man. She showed him how best to touch her beforehand, and she’s still uncomfy?

Brother, if she knew how best to touch herself, and could show someone else that, she’d absolutely be wet enough for this not to hurt.

Tell me you’ve never made a woman wet without telling me.

I’m such a sap that I can admit the proposal and the plan to strike out on their own is cute, but it is so soured by everything else that has happened. I’m so bummed.

I don’t know what’s more annoying: the blatant white man perspective of native culture and the perpetuation of cruelty and violence towards natives, or the fact that this motherfucking author doesn’t understand how filler words work and keeps putting Cartland’s “yes yes” in places filler words WOULDNT FUCKING GO.

Am I supposed to feel bad that the Indians supposedly came and destroyed the dinosaur bones, after Cartland beheaded their corpses and Rachel stole from their burial shrouds? Cause I don’t feel bad at all. Quite frankly, I give them a 10/10 for this vengeance.

Privately hurt by him calling her plain (but saying he didn’t actually say it when he literally did), when she didn’t bat an eye at it in conversation.

FUCK OFF

“I wanted to tell her I loved her, but I didn’t. Maybe I didn’t have the courage. Maybe I still wanted to hurt her.”

FUCK OFF