Status Updates From 5 Types of People Who Can R...

Putes if it gets escalated.
Try to keep a one to one ratio of people, and your advocate needs to not be adding fuel but to help keep you calm and keep it factual.

Proffessions the enabler / advocate commonly can be in frequent is lawyer, counselor, ministry, doctors, teachers, nurses ,& social workers

Had a good case study in the chapter about a lawyer who prematurely took the case wo doing research.

Ch 9 22min/200. Dealing with advocates of the HCP.
They are often close to the person family, friend, coworker. Many times they are just enablers by trusting to quickly and not doing own research or are afraid of the person snapping on them.
But many times when both sides of story are present they disappear.
But sometimes they are to close or an HCP themselves.
He recommends his book Highconflict people in legal dis

Ch8 24m/178 histrionic personality is motivated by fear of being ignored.
1.8% or 6 million. 51%men.
Emotional intensity push people away which is ironic because that is a huge fear of there’s.
Top 3 of the 8 traits is drive center attention,dramatic speech, thinking people care more about them than they do.
Common profession movie stars, rock stars, or public performer.
Frequent ER visit because all or nothing .

Ch7 26min/154. Paranoid. 4.4% or 16million people in north America.
57% are female.
Most appear less confident about engaging others, though a minority do.
Typically verbal attack first, rumors.
Top 3 of 7 suspicious others out to harm them, beating grudges foot minor or nonexistent reasons, fear others conspire against them.
little paranoia is healthy.
Tip:Focus on acknowledging that’s unusual or I wasn’t there

Sociopaths that are psychopaths are potentially very cruel who will ruin your life for pleasure. Ex Ted Bundy.
Sociopaths NOT psychopaths generally are conartist and don’t care if you get hurt while they get what want. Ex. Ernie Macoff (Ponzi scheme)

Antisocial common profession choice politics, law, sales, business.
Tend have many traffic violations, parking tickets, other small crimes.

Ch6 32 min/128. Sociopath aka antisocial personality disorder, psychopath (extreme)
They lack remorse and may find pleasure in your pain.
3.6% population~13 million people USA. 1 in 4. Psychopath 1%.
74% male.
7 traits. 3 top.routine violations of social rules,norms, laws wo remorse. Drive to dominate. Deceitfulness.
Their heart rates slow down in conflict.
Can be some most charming people,because master manipulator

Ch 5 26min/96.
Helping to identify someone who is a BPD borderline personality disorder as it’s another 6% of population. Per 2008 5.9 borderline whilenarcissistic were 6.2%.

53% female 47% male.

BPD are those that latch on to select people and share them everything but have a temper.

And they will turn on you quickly.

Fear abandonment, mood swings, put people in camp good or bad.

Devil wears Prada analogy

Main thing learned, js not to insult them or let them know you think they are narcissistic. But to find ways to remove yourself from them, example priorities shift you take a break from the hobby or location they tend to meet you at.

The book goes more in depth on strategy to escape and protect yourself.
It was a really good chapter. Pulling strategies from previous chapter and introducing new strategy like BIFF

Ch 4 continues to dive deeper in topic and gives you sub labels
Vulnerable n are ones to quickly explode and backlash. While grandiose get angry then make up rumors, destroy reputation by sabotage.
Uses lance armstrong as example of how when questioned he attacked the person and avoided the questions.
How terrorist leaders don’t recognize the sacrifice from the followers, because they dont value them.

Ch4 29min/70.
Narcissism 101 what to look out for and how to get out of alway learn some ways to not become their main victim.
6% of population. 22+mil Americans
Of the Narcissists 62% M and 38% F. Most are oblivious how they treat people because they feel their superiority justify why they should get preferred treatment.
To get the label you have to have 5 of 9 traits. Top 3 superiority, above rules, lack empathy.

Ch 3 13min /41. This book really draws you in to help you learn.
HCP (high conflict person) generally pick on people they are close to or someone in authority.

People in helping professions have a higher percentage of being a hcp.

Hcp is also on rise with all, most likely due to television promoting this behavior as people find them entertaining from a distance.

Washer a community connection the hcp thrive in

Ch2 16 min/28m. Very descriptive and gives you another recommendation book (gift of fear- Gavin de Becker)
4 primary characteristics of a hcp (high conflict person)
All or nothings
Unmanaged emotion
Extreme behavior/threats
Targets of blame- and not relenting

90 % rule - would 90% of people do that, if not be cautious
WEB
W-words
E- emotions
B-behavior

How to deal with HCP
CARS
Connect
Analyze
Respond
Set limits

Ch1 12min. Great way to introduce the HCP(high conflict personality) and learning that about 10% population or 35million in USA at time writing. But also goes into about 15% people have one of the 10 personality disorder recoginized by the DSM-5.
Author did cofound the HCI(high conflict institute) , is a psychotherapist & lawyer. And has been for 30+ years.

It is a good writing style easy to follow so far.