Status Updates From Studmuffin Santa (Ponderosa...

I know she's the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I need to give her time to get to that same place.

I'm glad you like it. I was worried about dredging up old memories. But you both look so happy here.

Sometimes it's good to dredge up old memories. It's how you make things better moving forward.

I can tell she's in that zone between hurt and fury - the place where you're too d@mn angry to cry.

Kids are mean. They'll crucify anyone who's different. I know guys like you don't always see it. Nice guys at the top of the food chain rarely look down. You're too busy clinging to your own rungs on the ladder. But girls like me, like Jade ... that $h!t lives with us for a long time.

I saw the heart, but not the hurt. I saw the toughness, but not the things that made her that way.

Something about a mouthful of obscenely sweet fruit [maraschino cherries] makes it harder to stay p!$$ed.

My relationship with ODFW has been touchy since the first day I filed permits to open this place. Reindeer aren't like cattle or sheep that authorities know how to regulate. It's been a learning process for all of us.

Wanna hear a dirty joke one of the older kids told me yesterday?

I'm not sure. Do I?

Yup. Speaking of Christmas baggage ...

Okay, go.

Know why Santa's sack is so big?

Why is Santa's sack so big?

Because he only comes once a year.

I hear things. From the construction crew of guys you went to high school with. You had quite the reputation.

I dated a lot of girls in high school. But ... that was thirteen years ago.

For some people, it takes a long time to get over all the teenage $h!t.