Status Updates From The Secret History of the J...

"He had dreamed of being a philosopher wandering among the Pine Barrens. . . but the Quaker fathers ensured his dream was dead. Rather than be a wise owl, a writer of mystical sojourning, examining the nature of the universe, Daniel Leeds would remodel himself into a rude political attack dog and do everything he could to make his enemies' lives miserable."

OMG SO RELATABLE, BESTIE