Status Updates From Księga Vanitasa, tom 3

“he wants to use me as a shield but he doesn’t want me to shield him of my own accord?” well yes! vanitas is all about control, he can’t STAND feeling vulnerable or weak or not having at least the illusion of power in any given situation. plus, if noé protects him out of the blue like that, it means something more than noé simply following orders. the potential for true partnership and care and TRUST

noé yelling at vanitas for not being straightforward with his explanations is such a great way to transition into this next section of their arc as noé struggles to understand the ways in which vanitas navigates his trauma and how it prevents him from being open and honest. he metes out information VERY intentionally and sparingly but noé likes details, he needs context in order to fully understand something

i adore the repetition of “do as you like” as vanitas’ way of choosing to accept noé’s help that shrouds it in false passivity. as if he’s just letting noé do what he wants and has no power to refuse when we know damn well what vanitas is capable of. somewhere deep down he’s relieved to not be alone as he embarks on what he can assume will be an incredibly traumatic mission

like he’s completely disengaged with the argument between the dhams that is ABOUT HIM and riche being so charmed by him and is instead only looking at vanitas. which could mean nothing of course
noé is naive and a bit oblivious yes but the way he always actively seeks to understand and engage with vanitas while he lets things like this completely fall to wayside is just very interesting to me

it is endlessly hilarious to me how obvious it is that everyone wants noé but noé himself only wants vanitas (despite being oblivious to this)

the first three traits that vanitas names when noé asks why he likes jeanne are toughness, beauty, and clumsiness...... i wonder who else has those traits.......
moving away from the vanoé of it all, i find it interesting that he points to both toughness AND fragility as attractive features of jeanne. maybe he really does see her as a more complex person than he lets on

domi desperately trying to get noé to see her and understand her feelings (which i'd argue she doesn't even understand) by forcing the interaction to become more intimate, which noé obliges. but it's clear that the blood drinking isn't as emotionally/sexually charged for him as it may be for her. all he can reassure her about is that her blood is still delicious. he thirsts for vanitas, but he could never abandon her

following that line of thought of protection, it could also be a message for noé specifically. vanitas now knows that he's an archiviste and so it would be his worst nightmare to have noé drink from him. maybe another reason for showing the mark in front of everyone is to make sure that there's an extra barrier preventing noé from even asking to drink from him?

it's only on this reread that i'm considering another potential motivation for vanitas flaunting jeanne's mark so blatantly: protection. if he runs into another vampire that wants to drink from him and they see that he has a mark of possession from the hellfire witch, it might scare them off? regardless though i doubt vanitas is thrilled about being marked yet again and needs to take control of it however he can

and vanitas' second condition really hits all of that home imo. moreau only ever referred to him by his test subject number, and jeanne just calls him "human", so this deal with her and his condition that she call him by his name is definitely a sneaky way for him to try to regain some control over past trauma using jeanne as a vehicle. ironically, he's dehumanizing her even more than she's dehumanizing him

those top panels so clearly show how the emotion that vanitas has defined as "love" is probably (at this point at least) more like exhilaration or fear. and definitely also a mix of that thrill of having emotional power over such a physically imposing person. this "love" is really just a way for vanitas to cope with his past trauma of being bitten (and suicidal urges) without having to be vulnerable about any of it

god that smirk when vanitas realizes that he has COMPLETE control over this narrative and jeanne is at his mercy???? he is so fucked up for so many of his early interactions with jeanne, regardless of their obvious root in his deep trauma with moreau. but i also can't help but compare this dynamic to the one showcased in the previous chapter.......vanoé is so starkly different from any of vanitas' other relationships

starting this chapter with noé asking vanitas what love is and then flashing back to vanitas revealing jeanne's mark in front of everyone, claiming that it's emblematic of their "love", speaks VOLUMES. vanitas likens love to possession. the thrill of twisting the story so that it conveniently leaves out his own vulnerability and focuses only on jeanne's, the thrill of having the hellfire witch like putty in his hands

no i'm not done actually i just think this pairing is so brilliant and it's this scene that highlights how evenly matched they are for the first time. noé is stubborn as FUCK and has such a thirst for knowledge especially when it comes to understanding people and their motivations. he's hopeful to a fault. meanwhile vanitas is equally stubborn but in such a perfectly inverted way to noé. the soulmatism is crazy

everything about the way this is framed is more romantic than most shojos i've read. the sunrise???? the gentle smiles?????? it's just so beautiful, it really captures the relief and comfort of finally being seen and the anticipation of what comes next once that dam has broken. despite all of vanitas' posturing, he craves to be known too. and he's met his perfect match in noé, the archiviste who can lay blood bare

i've gone on and on about how this is a perfectly constructed scene but this specific part when noé intentionally mirrors vanitas' words is really hitting me this time around. the og wording is "i'll do as i please, and no matter what you want, i will save you without fail". so for noé to change the end to "i've decided i'm staying with you, vanitas"????? it implies that their bond just might be vanitas' salvation

i dread the day this story ends but i also can't wait to see how it all connects and to be able to reread scenes like this with full knowledge of wtf teacher's deal really is. i love the moment when he asks if noé wants to leave vanitas now that he realizes that he's not this perfect savior. and noé's eyes SHOOT OPEN in instinctive rejection of the very idea. and teacher SMILES. like it's exactly what he's banking on

i should be reading girl's girl or why are people into that but alas. the world is on fire and i feel like shit so french gay vampires it is