Status Updates From Lettere a Milena

‘by the way, why am I a human being, with all the torments this extremely vague and horribly responsible condition entails? why am i not, for example, the happy wardrobe in your room, which has you in full view whenever you’re sitting in your chair or at your desk or when you’re lying down or sleeping… why am i not that? because i would break down in grief if i had seen your misery during these last days’