Status Updates From The Case Study of Vanitas, ...

also making the connection that the times in which vanitas has let jeanne drink from him have come right after some very emotionally taxing and traumatizing events for vanitas. revealing his mark and his intention for revenge, noé vowing to stay by his side in the bell tower, returning to the catacombs and seeing moreau. just interesting to watch vanoé progress emotionally parallel to vanijeanne “hooking up”

jeanne’s urge to drink vanitas’ blood (as part of their consensual deal) becoming so strong that she’s practically begging him right after having a flashback of ruthven forcing her into an oath just like the one noé was forced into 2 chapters ago??? the one that involves nonconsensual blood drinking?????? oh the coping mechanisms oh the sexual allegories

i think if the facet of emotional intimacy that vanijeanne is exploring is first love for one character who has convinced himself he’s unlovable and another who has been trained to be nothing more than a tool and to stamp out any and all desires that are solely her own. which is deeply important for both of them in their journeys to regain personal autonomy!!!!!

(cont.)
like i’ll have to continue the reread to make sure of this but i’m pretty sure that jeanne never actually learns much of anything about vanitas? and i don’t think she asks either? it’s just not really how their relationship functions. they challenge each other more in terms of physical intimacy than emotional intimacy, the latter of which is more vanoé’s territory

oh vanitas baby the thing about being “unknowable” is that it makes everyone want to know you really bad
but this also brings up of the key differences between vanijeanne and vanoé: noé is MUCH more willing and able to challenge vanitas and just straight up ask him what he’s thinking or feeling at a given moment, or even in the aftermath. jeanne, as far as i remember, just doesn’t really do that? (cont.)

not to make everything about vanoé but this does remind me of vanitas’ reaction to noé stepping out onto the streets of paris for the first time and being absolutely enchanted by everything. like…..the montage too???? idk something something vanitas has a type but jeanne is the emotionally safer choice while also still providing enough danger for his self-destructive urges something something

for the moment, this partial reveal is being played mostly for laughs but it is important to remember that both vanitas and jeanne are deeply traumatized and have been used and abused and treated as nothing more than tools. vanitas copes by taking any and every opportunity to wield emotional power over people, and jeanne copes by being “good” and remaining emotionally naive to her own desires. recipe for mess!!!!

so i think after this it’s fair to assume that the dhams are spreading the info that jeanne and domi are dating and so are vanitas and noé

fantastic plan (love the mention of mean lesbian veronica) but they’re failing to consider that you cannot bullshit a bullshitter. like that man lies and puts on a show practically 24/7 and you really think you can out-theater kid him???????? and this coming right after ruthven accused vanitas of using noé like no actually noé is too stubborn for that most of the time but jeanne however……..

AND NOW JEANNE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE NOÉ WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!! mochizuki you are not slick

so i live in constant fear of what the payoff for this vow will be…….if it ends up being a kenjaku-esque situation where ruthven somehow uses the love between vanitas and noé as the crux of some evil plan i will scream at the top of my lungs and never stop

and as if it wasn’t charged enough, having the actual vow happening while noé is kneeling in front of ruthven while he (very unnecessarily) has a single finger under his chin???? i mean come on

and then to top it all off, noé witnessing his own assault in the mirror??????? and not only do we see him watching and asking “what is happening” but we also see the image reflected in his iris????? to me, this is meant to portray dissociation which is very common in sexual assaults in particular. seeing it happen from outside of one’s body and not being able to process it. the allegory is STRONG

(cont.)
i mean ruthven’s entire power is a very direct commentary on the horror of the loss of bodily autonomy and abusive power dynamics, and so to have it posed like this just drives it home even harder. he is overwriting noé’s body with his own will. his face, his eyes, his soul is nothing that ruthven cannot just take into his own hands and use for his own ends

this spread is so effective in its horror but especially the detail of ruthven gripping noé’s face so that only one of his eyes is visible. we can’t see any of ruthven’s face, and most of noé’s is hidden by ruthven’s massive hand and claws, and so it really adds to this forced dehumanization that i think mochizuki is very intentionally trying to connect to the nonconsensual blood drinking in this series

noé stopping himself to intentionally reiterate vanitas’ name (something that vanitas is VERY sensitive about) as he’s telling ruthven, in the EXACT words, what vanitas said about humans and vampires is such a good little detail. he really is such a sponge when it comes to trying to understand people, especially vanitas. no detail is too small to file away and ruminate on and try to making meaning out of

my GOD noé looks so much like jeanne in that middle panel!!!! which is…..interesting considering vanitas’ plot during this……..

noé snuggling the pillow tighter when vanitas leaves with that infuriating saucy little grin on his face…... which could mean nothing of course

i definitely commented on this before but it bears repeating
vanitas starting to actually sleep in the room with noé instead of up on the roof?????? after the catacombs incident where he opened up a bit and really began to trust noé and act as his legitimate partner????????? mochizuki making sure to have him SAY IT TO AMELIA for no other reason than to let us know of this progression in casual intimacy??????

what a beautifully drawn and written bow for this arc. there is an undeniable level of trust between vanitas and noé that was not there before, and noé has uncovered one of the key pieces of vanitas' story. not through seeing his memories via blood but through what vanitas himself was willing to reveal and then noé making his own connections from there. they've climbed from shadow to light, and they did it together

what if our love was so strong that it shook the very foundations of a man's faith and also what if we were both boys

(cont.)
it reminds me of when he burst into laughter after the first encounter with luca and jeanne, but noé didn't understand him back then, nor was he involved in the crazy plan (any more than just being a pawn) that made vanitas feel so exhilarated in the first place. but now they're aligned in their experiences and feelings and can share in the comedown together. why ARE they alive? it's a joint question now

vanitas saying "i have no idea WHY we're still alive" instead of the more intuitive "how" is interesting. noé did just ask him a different "why" before they jumped into the shadow, and it's clear that being confronted with his past has brought those existential thoughts to the forefront even more so than usual. so for him to call out the utter absurdity of it all and LAUGH ABOUT IT so genuinely?????? (cont.)

and that panel of the book as vanitas is struggling to find the answer??? that book IS the answer in a lot of ways, especially to the "what" of it all. it's his burden but also his purpose, his salvation and his downfall. so for his victorious moment to first be shown through him grabbing hold of the chain is SO satisfying. he is NOT letting the shadows of his past consume him. he holds the chain, he is in control

(cont.)
and that last bit could easily extend to vanitas' life in general, not just this specific mission. why are you still holding on anyway? why are you still fighting when you're on borrowed time and you've suffered through all of it? show me that fight, that stubbornness, that desperation, that complicated vengeance, that contradictory desire for understanding and connection. what are you? why do you persist?

"what are you?" "why are you here, even though you had to go through so much pain to get here?"
the repetition of "what are you" from their very first meeting and now, noé actually has a better idea of the answer and is using it to give vanitas the motivation he needs
and very directly acknowledging the pain???? "i see how hard you're fighting, how much this quest means to you, how good it is (and you are)" (cont.)

continuing with the metaphor, i do not think it's a fucking coincidence that in order to cure this cursebearer, noé and vanitas have to dive straight into the shadow and find the suffering vampire within. AND it's a solution that they could've only thought of and executed as a duo. the first time they are really, truly working together involves diving into darkness and pulling someone out of it. the layers...........

this spread is so fantastic i can't get over how much noé looks like a hero, an angel, a savior. and vanitas is looking up at him like he's all of those things

(cont.)
he has the answer, he said it already, but he just doesn't have enough hope in his abilities to even attempt a solution that is more hands-on and risky and unorthodox. but noé fucking does!!!!!!! he IS vanitas' hope, there's a reason why they officially became partners under the light of a sunrise okay the imagery is SO clear

this moment. in the context of the previously mentioned metaphor. the layers......
vanitas is ready to give up and bear the weight of losing one person in order to save the majority (and it's a weight that clearly would be felt, he doesn't make the decision lightly) bc his own self-hatred and feelings of inadequacy (HIS SHADOW) are blinding him to other potential solutions (cont.)