Status Updates From The Crystal Cave (Arthurian...

Incorrect! In some medieval tales he had some sort of romance with Morgan le Fay, though apparently also troubled.

Also, according to the Brut Chronicle, Merlin's mom was named Adhan.

See, honestly? The version of Merlin in this summary is more interesting in the one in the actual novel.

Yeah, sure, GRIN about the person you murdered.

Oh, wait, cool, Uther's actually calling Merlin out for that. But no, you other shithead, Merlin isn't doing this "for his ambition." He's doing it for no reason because Stewart was TOO LAZY TO THINK OF ONE.

God: Thou shalt not murder. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Merlin: Well, I sure did murder people in order to facilitate adultery! Just like God wanted! 🤪

"HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME THAT THE STUPID AND IMMORAL THING I WANTED TO DO WAS BAD! WHAT, WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!"

Typo: "I could see that there there was blood on his face." Extra "there."

Cadal is dead. Now he's EXACTLY like Cerdic. Except that Cerdic didn't deserve to die.

(At this point I just hate every character and want this book to end.)

Oh, FUCK YOU, Merlin. Never has someone managed to be so loathsome and so boring at the same time.

What are you TALKING about, Ygraine?! You want Merlin to make you Uther's wife, but without Gorlois dying. These things are mutually exclusive! You can't give Merlin two contradictory tasks and then blame him not only doing one!

To be fair, Ygraine is the three-dimensional female character in this book other than Niniane. The problem is that she's awful and I hate her.

"The words came clearly to me, from nowhere, without thought."

You'd think that Stewart would stop reminding us that Merlin has no agency or motivation.

"I am not 'many women.'"

Translation: "I'm not like other girls! They would have just thrown off their clothes and fucked Uther in the middle of the royal banquet, but I'M smart enough to plot my husband's death first!"

"You are honest, Ygraine."

No. The word "honest" used to mean "chaste."

"Was that right?"
"You were guided."

Merlin literally can't even understand the idea that someone might have thought for themself.

I think it says something that Merlin agreed to help Uther sleep with Ygraine before he thought of asking whether she'd consent to it.

It seems he's not going to think at all about the moral implications of helping Uther screw the wife of their mutual friend and ally.