Status Updates From Fox (Stone Cold Fox Trilogy...

“I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay some assholes to come in here and do work I’m more than capable of doing.”

Obviously, I hadn’t planned on hiring assholes, just, you know, regular guys, but it didn’t matter.

MORE SPOILERS …

Levi and I were apparently overachievers and had decided to go all out and create two tiny people at the same freaking time.

“Oregonians are like Canadians, Levi,” she’d said. “Impossibly nice and they wear sandals with wool socks. There isn’t a person in the world who can wear wool socks and not be happy.”

“Really?” I questioned. “You’d move? Just like that? Again?”

“Of course I would,” he answered. “A house is just a fucking house, baby. You’re my home.”

It was truly ironic how a movie I didn’t even want to see released had essentially taken my career to a point where I was in high demand for dozens of roles. Directors didn’t even ask for me to audition.

Mom: I can remember being sick as a dog when I was pregnant with you and Cami. It was miserable for practically my entire pregnancy.

Me: I didn’t know that.

Mom: Oh, yeah. Hell had taken up residence in my throat during that pregnancy.

feeling like a motion-sick sailor in a hurricane.

~~~~~

She lived her life on a hair trigger these days, and ironically, today, the trigger seemed to be hair.

SPOILER!!!

“Your cervix is definitely closed,” Dr. Macintosh said.

“Is that good?” I asked and she smiled.

“When it comes to a pregnancy, yes, it’s a good thing,”

And, God, did my heart ache. It throbbed. It stung. It twisted and turned erratically. Whenever Camilla’s death really hit me, it felt like someone had reached inside my chest with a meat hook and shredded my heart to near pieces.

The word sad sounded so childish, like something flimsy, something someone should be able to cast off with a happy thought or smile or hug. But this kind of sad, a raw, aching melancholy, was nothing of the sort. It sat inside my veins like a germ seed of depression, just waiting for the right conditions to grow, to send out roots that threatened to choke the hope out of my heart.

Not being able to stop the thing hurting the woman you loved was akin to being hit repeatedly by a truck. Every time the crushing weight moved, it found you again, and the end was so far away it wasn’t even in sight.

while I waited for the knife of reality to stop twisting

Mary knew. She knew with an intensity that comforted and soothed. That gave reason to my feelings and my pains and put a face to where I might be able to live one day.

It felt ironic to be trying to put the pieces of her back together when the glue was still drying on myself.