Status Updates From Five-Carat Soul

[Well, that one ended a bit disturbingly.]

She look so good on television you want to kiss her, but in person she got so much powder on her face she look like a dustbag from a vacuum cleaner. On TV she looks young, but in person she look like she was born in the year of only Gd know. If she was two-faced, I think she could've used the other one.

[LOLLLLL I know it's wrong of me but I cackled so hard at that line]

[Loved that first story but a bit baffled by the ending...]