Status Updates From Masc (Femme, #2)

Back to finish this one because I need some light funny read with femme top/masc bottom dynamic.

“I’m so sorry about what he did to you.”
“It really wasn’t that—”
“Sweetheart, worse things happen to people all the time. But that doesn’t make what you went through any easier.”
❤️🥰

I’d been studiously giving him the cold shoulder. No one gives the cold shoulder like I do. There have been reports of frostbite. In Long Beach. In the Summer.

It's been a while since I listened to the audio of 'Femme', but I can still hear Joel Leslie's Lionel voice in my head :)

Taking out Dog’s laptop I started googling: How long before you can file a missing person’s report? Well, this was a surprise. You didn’t have to wait. Not even twenty-four hours. Of course, I probably should have more to say than, ‘My boyfriend won’t return my calls,’ before I called the police and reported him missing.

“It wasn’t insignificant. You don’t have any idea what it’s like to be constantly judged and told you’re wrong.”
“I’ve been married for thirty-five years, I know exactly what that’s like.”

“You’ve slept with him?” I asked. “Now I’m really not going to have revenge sex with him.”
“You won’t have sex with me and you won’t have sex with anyone I’ve slept with. You are one picky queen.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

Standard conversation between Lionel and his BFF - I love these two :)

I swear someone needs to make this series into a TV SHOW! I would so be watching Lionel, Dog and the rest of the Long Beach crowd!

“Can we not talk about it?” I asked, well, begged. “Only if I know what I’m not talking about,” Lionel said. “Seriously, how can I decide not to talk about something if I don’t know what it is?” “I’m getting kinda confused. It sounds like you’re saying that I have to talk about things in order not to talk about them.” “Basically, yes.”

“Oh, I know what that means. That means you don’t want to suck my dick.” “I don’t. Does that make me a bad person?” “It does, absolutely. A good person would want to suck my dick.” “But you’re like my sister.” “So? Are you telling me you’re prejudiced against lesbians?” “I don’t do incest, Carlotta.” “Dios mio.”

Oh, my Gawd. How do you tell someone you would never have sex with them in non-insulting way? That's just not possible. Clearly, I needed to lie. But what lie to tell? Is it realistic to have a headache for, well, forever?

Coming out at work was a lesser kind of brave, kind of like lite beer. It was still beer—but was it really beer? No, not really.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“I can’t believe they only make pink balls for women. That’s so sexist.” “Tim has pink balls,” Fetch said.
“And they’re definitely not for women,” Tim added. “They’re only for Fetch.”
“Awwww…”

I’m already LMAO!! This is SO exactly what I needed after a crapstastic day!! I love Dog and Lionel!

More of the not-cute sexual harassment scenario. More of everyone behaving like uncommunicative bitches to the point where it seems like they're deliberately being difficult for the sake of causing trouble. Based on my positive feelings about the first book, I was expecting to like this much more than I'm liking it so far.

Well, I'm horrified. Not to get all victim-blamey, but why tf is Dog agreeing to lunch with this creep? It's not cute, it can't be made cute. I'm disappointed in this book right now.