Status Updates From Black Luck (Prof Croft, #5)

“Well, I love you. So there.”

You have terrible taste

door. “Look, I’m glad you’re my mentor.”


Why? She hasn't done anything but almost kill you

the suspect was in pieces, and Pierce was dead.”

Oh good. So nothing of value was lost

My eyes dropped to the silver ring glinting from his left ring finger.

But you said he didn't have a ring?

I was also going to confess that, despite my earlier misgivings, I need your help.”

Wow. It sure didn't sound like that's what you were going to do

But if the Order was calling me off, what could I do?

I remember in every other book when the order would call you off you ignored it.

Vega left her new number and a heart.

Lol wat? She almost murdered him yesterday when he fried her cell phone

but damned if I could put my finger on what.

That's because the author made you an idiot,

“Oh, and just in case this has something to do with Pierce and me working together, he’s gay.”

Oh. Well then it's ok he's an insufferable prick that refuses to respect others

Something told me I’d just managed to slam it into reverse.

Sounds like a good thing to me. Maybe ask a senior at your college to drinks. You know, someone not ancient and with dependents

She nodded. “Maybe you’re not as hopeless as you look.”

Yes! That's it! Make your protagonist as pathetic and worthless as possible! That's how you sell books!

“Does he have a cell number?”

He's a wizard. Why would he have a cell? All it would do is explode

“I’ve been stopped up for three days, and I’m finally getting some movement.”

If she's that miserable, why didn't she use magic

I called the Order and left a message, telling them about the night’s


So the order went to the trouble to modernize to the point of having a phone number, but sent a physical letter with no indication of its nature instead of leaving a voice mail. I see nothing has improved since the super evil big bad was defeated

But when I looked up from the card, he was gone.

I love it when an author writes a protagonist as the biggest fuck up in the tri-state area

Star’s girlfriend.

It's ok. Now star can run away with that guy she sleeps with when Emma works late

“he looks up to you, Everson. He wants to spend time with you. Tony got so excited back in June when

Well. Everson isn't Tony's dad. Maybe he can do some actual fathering

“I’ve seen the way you moon over your sword. You want to be like him.” “Like who?”

Trapped in a pocket realm for eternity?

“Oh. Her.”

Finally! Someone with standards

source of protein and healthy fats.”

What you're describing is a ribeye steak

Sort of. Detective Vega and I had started dating shortly after the episode with the Whisperer, but in the last few months our relationship

Jesus he has terrible tastes.

“Where’d they find you? Broadway and Forty-second?”

Lol