Status Updates From The Deeper the Water the Ug...

my problem had been in my units of measurement. working with the bees, i could see that the hive had a soul even if the individual bees did not. i was not meant to be a modern person. i have always been a fragment, seeking wholeness in a hole. on the farm, i surrendered.

Not who, she said. What. It was death. Death? Well, then why aren’t you dead? Oh, she said, it just wanted to let me know that I’d been marked. Everyone’s been marked, I told her. All of us.

Her mother’s suffering was so huge it was like its own person: it needed to be constantly fed and tended to.

I crawl away from the mess I made. But the mess follows me because I am the mess.