Status Updates From La mujer singular y la ciudad

what if the urge toward stable intimacy is perpetually threatened by an equally great, if not greater, urge toward destabilization?

In my life I have known only what I don't want. I've always had a thorn in my side, and I've always thought, when this thorn Is removed I'll think about what I want. But then that particular thorn would be removed, and i'd be left feeling emptied out.

All my life I've made do with less because "stuff" makes me anxious.