Status Updates From Un traitre idéal

Picked this up in the Clacton-on-Sea Wetherspoons (I know!), with the hope of switching to holiday mode by binging a trashy-ish paper book. Then found out it's maybe it's worse one, confirming an early impression. Still, this was the best candidate for the job (also scouted Clacton's charity shops), so here goes nothing.