Status Updates From Death Threat (Sweet Valley ...

Wow, this book is MIND-BLOWINGLY awful. You basically have to read it all in one sitting!

"We've Kidnapped an Ostrich" is the name of my next band.

This detective is pretty dumb if she hasn't clocked Jeremy as the rat fink yet, considering he's the only one who's been leaving the Wakefield house this entire time.

Bruce went dressed as his own black Porsche to the Halloween party? DYING!!!!

Did Jeremy seriously think he could charm his way out of the Wakefields contacting the authorities? Even tho they are dumb enough not to call actual police, they contact a detective (right out of old time radio, no less) and Jeremy is suddenly completely lost. What a moron!

So you've just found out your "friend" is missing, and your first impulse ISN'T to (1) wake up your parents and tell them, or (2) call the police, but to instead run out into the middle of the darkened woods where she disappeared from? Wow, we're off to a rollicking start!

Never trust a man willing to wear a pinky ring, Jess. Never

Hang on, Robby has only known Jeremy since just before they met on the beach? Didn't he tell Lila in book 1 that he and Jeremy went to college together? I was a bit skeptical about the college claim since Jeremy is 23 and Robby's 18 (and in Double-Crossed it's implied that he never went to college), but I thought maybe Jeremy was a TA or something.