Status Updates From Troldmanden fra Oz

Sorry, what now? The wizard has a *ahem* “collection of hearts in all shapes and sizes”?? And we’re not going to question this. Did he perhaps run away to Oz in his balloon because he’s a SERIAL KILLER?? Fits right in with the Ozians.

Not the farmer going on at length about how reclusive this guy is just for Dorothy to ask what he’s like. NO ONE’S MET HIM HOW WOULD THEY KNOW? He’s ANTISOCIAL. CLEARLY.

I’m sorry, WHAT?? The Tin Woodman knew it was wrong to kill something small and helpless, so he MURDERS A WILDCAT?? How are we going to make a distinction between the Lion and the Wildcat? Just because the Lion is cowardly makes him good? What about when he was gonna kill that deer? Or THEM? WTF is this logic??? How does murder in retribution for attempted murder make any sense? The Tin Woodman is actually insane.

I mean I knew what was going to happen because I’ve seen the film, but I would’ve gotten so mad if they left the cowardly lion to die in the poppy field.

Thankfully they didn’t but why did they consider it 😭.